March 2016

After my mom's funeral we headed back home.  It was so hard and strange to try to go back to normal life.  We were all exhausted, physically and mentally, but we did our best to be happy and enjoy our family time.

Tired kids...

I also tried to make up for all the time I had spent away from Van by taking him on a few one on one dates.  Van and Brielle have been such bright spots in the grieving process.  They have unwavering faith that Grandma is in heaven and are happy every day.  It's impossible to sink into a puddle of grief when you have such amazing kids making you laugh.




We had lots of quiet family time.  Something that had been in short supply the 16 months prior.  This was a family coloring session on the first warm spring day.


Brielle begged to play soccer this spring so we signed her up.  She was so excited when I bought her some shin guards and socks!


She was also the cutest thing I have ever seen!!


Around our 10th anniversary (in Dec) we bought ourselves tickets to go see Brian Regan to celebrate.  The date of the show just so happened to be about a week after we got home from Idaho.  We got a babysitter and went to dinner first.  It was strange to go to a comedy show when we were both feeling so sad but it was also such a great relief to laugh and enjoy each other's company.  I love this man more every day!


More family time.  We went up the canyon to have a fire and play.


Oh, this little girl! She has such fashion sense:)

Mom

When Brielle and I returned home in February it was so hard to leave.  If I didn't feel like Brian and Van needed me to come home I wouldn't have been able to make myself leave.  By that point it was clear that my mom's time with us on this earth was short and she was getting sicker and weaker every day.  She was placed on hospice (where nurses visit often and gave us the equipment and knowledge to care for her at home) about a week after I left so a few days after that Brielle and I made the long drive back up. The days have sort of blurred together but it was a very sacred, special, and difficult time.  My dad and I\ were her primary caregivers with me taking the lion's share when I could to give my dad a break.  I can't really put into words what that time was really like and if I could I don't think I would share it here.  I will say, as hard as it was, I wouldn't trade that time for anything.  I had so much one on one time with my mom and with my dad and I got to be there for many special moments. 

On March 8th, after I was up caring for mom during an exceptionally difficult night for her, I had my dad call the nurse to come see if there was anything else we could do to make her comfortable.  At this point the nurse made it clear that the end was near.  My dad called Tyler and Amy who both left immediately to come see her.  Tyler arrived in the evening and Amy arrived in the middle of the night.  We all sat vigil with her all night (except for when Brielle had a bad dream and I had to snuggle her back to sleep)  and at 9 o'clock on March 9th we were all surrounding her bed as she passed.  It's a miracle we were all there and I am so grateful we were.

We had her funeral on March 12th.  So many people came from all over (I think Mexico was the farthest) to remember her and say goodbye.  Several childhood friends surprised me and came.  It really helped me to have so many people I loved, who loved her, there with me.  The service was beautiful.

My mom was truly the best woman I knew.  She was kind and selfless and loving and so many other wonderful things.  I am lucky to be her daughter and I will spend the rest of my life trying to be more like her. 

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/idahostatesman/obituary.aspx?page=lifestory&pid=178007020

Feb 2016

February started off with Brielle and I heading to McCall for a nice long visit.  I think it was at least my eighth time going up there since my mom was diagnosed.  I always tried to time my trips for a time when my mom had a treatment scheduled and this was no different.  In January we got the news that the chemo my mom had been on for the previous year was no longer working and that there was new growth in her lung as well as her liver.  She started a new treatment in hopes of giving her some more time and her second dose happened while I was there.  It ended up being her last treatment.

Even though grandma wasn't feeling well and couldn't do much Brielle still got so spend lots of quality time with her.  

We happened to be there during Winter Carnival.  I haven't been to Winter Carnival since 2002 so I was so excited to see all the snow sculptures and to show them to Brielle.  Grandpa, Brielle, and I snuck away one afternoon to explore a little.

While I was there I found these pictures of my parents.  It's there engagement pictures taken in 1977 when my dad was 25 and my mom was 19.  So young and in love! And so stylish!!!






While I was gone Brian and Van were living the bachelor life:)  Brian sent me a couple of pictures like this of a super clean kitchen.  Oh, how I love him!


He also made sure Van had a lot of fun.





The second half of February was spent at home doing normal family things.

Love my tiny dancer and her first ever bun!





Grandma gave her this costume (it used to be Tyler's) and she wore it around for the better part of  a week once we got home.


Her hair is finally getting longer and she is finally letting me try some new dos with it.  So exciting!



She got her costume  for her dance recital and she LOVED it!


After being away from this kid for about 2 weeks (I missed him SOOOO much!)  I asked him if he would go on a date with me just the two of us.  We definitely both needed that one on one quality time, even if I had to eat at Wendy's ;)


We spent one weekend at the zoo.

Jan 2016

January always seems like a long slow month and this year was no exception.  The boys went back to school and Brielle got sick a couple of times.  We had a lot of fun around the house.

Brian hid here one day and scared the kids so bad when they came downstairs!!!

 

The primary kids were challenged to read the Book of Mormon this year and Van was really pumped at first.  He read every day and Brielle "read" too:)

This little princess is so girly and it's so fun!  She has been painting both our nails on a regular basis lately and she's actually getting pretty good!

One of the times poor little Brielle was sick.  This time was the worst with a high fever and throwing up all night! Poor thing!

Van bought himself his own set of tools and scoured the house for things he could take apart.  Brielle in true little sister form just followed him around and copied him:)

We went to a the fun center and went a little crazy.  Van's favorite was the mini gold and the bowling.  He got his first strike!!

This one liked the video games.  She is still little enough that we don't even have to put money in most of them and she doesn't know the difference!! 

December 2015 (McCall)

The day after Christmas we drove up to McCall.  Both kids just as excited about going to Grandma and Grandpa's as they were for Christmas morning:)  

There were many games of chess between these two.

Both kids were especially snuggly this trip.  I caught some version of this scene multiple times a day.  Grandma was loving it:)

One of Van's favorite Christmas presents was a book full of science experiments.  He brought it with him and Grandma was a good sport and did quite a few with him including this one which consisted of a balloon taped to a straw on a string.

There was lots of time spent in the snow for all of us (especially for Van).  

Van was so good about trying to help Brielle navigate the snow.

The chess set was just out a lot over the week and one day Brielle sat down and challenged Grandpa.  They started "playing" and we were all shocked to find she knew what all the pieces were and how most of them were allowed to move!  Apparently Van had taught her when we thought they were pretending to play.  It was really cute:)

More Grandma time.  I have about a dozen pictures like this.

My studly man helped out with the chores around the house.  He has acclimated to the snow quite well over the years:)

Brielle and Skyler were captivated watching Brian.  We saw Skyler a lot but somehow I didn't get many pictures ;(

We got to go cross country skiing one day and it was SO fun!  It was such a gorgeous day and the trees were perfectly flocked.  It was truly a winter wonderland.

Van and David are so cute together:)  

It was such a fun week up in the snow.